A New Journey

Last May, I embarked on a journey that would change my entire life. Actually, let me rewind even a few more months. Last January/February, I made a very hard decision that I knew would impact  every single aspect of my life. I made the decision to have Gastric Bypass surgery. At that point, even though I had ran over 40-some timed races, completed in many triathlons and thought I had broken off my relationship with food, I hadn't. I had gained all the weight back that I had previously lost and even found more weight in that process. I can't believe I was back to the weight I was years ago. I had revised the old habits that I thought were dead. I had stopped exercising. I had lost my passion to running, swimming and biking. I had turned back into the woman I thought was long gone. I was giving in to temptations repeatedly. My body were so sore when I tried to walk, I knew getting back into exercising was out of the question. I had made unsuccessful attempts to find that passion of running. It just seemed hopeless, because I was so wore out after very little activity. My eating also landed me in that situation. I went back to sneaking food and making sure I threw the wrappers away before anyone else found out. I was having an affair with food, but I was only cheating on myself and my future. After being blissfully naïve, last January/February, I had enough. I thought long and hard about the decision, was even unsure of what to expect, but I knew I had to be real with myself that I needed the surgery to help me get back to the women I was year ago.

I told some people of the deicsion, but kept it as a secret for the most part because of embrassment. I was embrassed to tell people my story (completed in triahtlons, enoyed running, lost over 180lbs years ago). I guess, deep down, I was not only embrassed with myself, but also humbled that I needed help even though I had done so well on my own before. So, I made the decision last January/Febraury. Fast foward to May 19, 2018. This was the big day! Surprisiely, that morning I was quite calm and quiet. I was not the normally bubbly, excited and goofy woman that I usually am. That was not me at all that day. The nerves really didn't hit me until I got to the hospital and was prepping. I kept trying to stay strong, because I knew it was such a huge deal and I could have gotten very emotional instantly. While I was laying in the bed, hooked up to the IV, I couldn't contain myself anymore. Cue the water works! I don't think I cried so much in such a short time. I was so overcome with emotions at that point. Suddently, I got word that it was go-time.  I just remember praying for courage and strengten over and over again.

In the months ahead, I had challenges of learning how, what and why to eat, what not to eat, how my body would now handle certain foods (and sometimes it seemed like it changes daily).  I hope to use this blog again to share ideas, recipes and lessons learned all the way, but overall, I just want to share My story!

Now, that I am a year post surgery, I sit here again with a wave of emotions. I am humbled at my past, but also very excited about my future. I know it was still be a long road a head of me until I get to my ideal goal weight, but I know the hardest part (this first year) is over. As I type this, I am sitting by the beach on a beautiful Michigan day, drinking my protein shake for lunch and feeling very reflective.

As I look into this Great Lake, I can't help but to think of the next adventure that awaits and I look forward to doing new things that I never thought were possible a year ago!